Unpacking Men’s Mental Health: Peer Pressure, Notions of Masculinity, and the Shadow of Suicide
The familiar phrase “man up” is often thrown around without a second thought - a toxic directive that silences vulnerability and perpetuates a harmful image of masculinity. But beneath the surface of stoicism, many men grapple with significant mental health challenges, often exacerbated by societal pressures and perceived gender norms, which obscure the devastating reality of male suicidality. Let’s have a deeper, more honest conversation.
Boys often feel the pressure to conform to narrow definitions of masculinity early on. Peer pressure among young men can dictate everything from emotional expression to risk-taking behaviours. Showing sadness or insecurity can be met with ridicule, resulting in boys and young men suppressing their feelings and adopting a facade of strength. This pressure often continues into adulthood, making it difficult for men to form genuine emotional connections or seek support when they need it most.
The pressure to embody traditional “alpha” male traits, coupled with the perceived need to assert dominance, can create immense anxiety and contribute to feelings of inadequacy. Furthermore, men who challenge these norms or express vulnerability may face social shame or accusations of not being “man enough.”
The tragic consequence of this confluence of factors is the disproportionately high rate of male suicidality, with men being significantly more likely to die by suicide than women. This isn't because men experience mental health problems more frequently, but rather due to a complex interplay of several factors:
The stigma regarding help-seeking: The ingrained stigma against vulnerability often prevents men from reaching out for support until they are in crisis.
Unhelpful coping mechanisms: Men may be more likely to use maladaptive coping mechanisms like substance abuse or isolation when struggling. Both of these unhelpful behaviours serve to elevate risks of self-harm and suicidal ideation.
Methodological differences: Men may choose more lethal methods of suicide.
The silence surrounding men’s mental health and suicidality is deadly. We need to actively challenge the harmful stereotypes that prevent men from seeking help and create a culture where vulnerability isn’t sneered at.
What can we do to break this cycle?
Honest conversations: We need to create safe spaces where men feel comfortable talking about their emotions without judgment. This starts with challenging toxic narratives regarding masculinity, mental health illness and help-seeking.
Education and awareness: Increase awareness about the specific ways mental health issues can manifest in men (e.g., anger, withdrawal) and highlight the resources available for support.
Building supportive communities: Create environments where men feel connected and supported, whether through friendships, support groups, or community initiatives.
It’s time to redefine strength, embrace vulnerability, and create a world where men feel empowered to prioritise their mental health without fear or shame.
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help immediately. You can contact the Samaritans on 116 123 or your local crisis hotline.